i remember once
a few years before
her death
my grandmother
had an operation
& afterwards the doctor
wanted her to look
at where the long incision
was on her side
to confront the stitches
but my grandmother refused
she never looked
she said that knowing it
was there was enough
& i understand her fear
it's one thing to know it's there
but to confront the zigzag
zipper of stitches sewn
into the skin
to stare down yr wounds
to braille yr scars
is something else, yes, it is
something far different